Jay Leno's Greatest Quotes on the Obama Administration Scandals

"I was going to start off tonight with an Obama joke, but I don't want to get audited by the IRS." On NSA surveillance:  "We wanted a president who listens to all Americans - now we have one." On a new IRS commissioner: "He's called 'acting commissioner' because he has to act like the scandal doesn't involve the White House." On closing the Guantanamo prison for terrorists: "If he really wants to close it, turn it into a government-funded solar power company. The doors will be shut in a month." Concerning the Benghazi, Associated Press, and IRS scandals:  "Remember in the old days when President Obama's biggest embarrassment was Joe Biden?" On Obama saying he didn't know about the IRS scandal: "He was too busy not knowing anything about Benghazi to not know anything about the IRS." "The White House has a new slogan about Benghazi: Hope and change the subject." "It's casual Friday, which means that at the White House, they're casually going through everybody's phone calls and records." "It is not looking good for President Obama. Today his teleprompter took the fifth." "Fox News has changed its slogan from 'Fair and Balanced' to 'See, I told you so!'" "These White House scandals are not going away anytime soon. People in Kenya are now saying he's 100 percent American. That's how bad it's gotten." On Obama's commencement address: "He told the young graduates their future is bright unless, of course, they want jobs." On a Chicago man who set a record for riding a Ferris wheel: "The only other way to go around and around in a circle that many times is to read the official report on Benghazi." On White House claims of ignorance on the scandals: "They took 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' out of the Pentagon and moved it into the White House."

49ers WR Anquan Boldin Speaks Out Against Gold Diggers in Senegal

       Anquan Bolden, wide receiver for the San Francisco 49ers went to Washington, DC today to lobby against gold mining in Senegal. His goal is to "ask leaders of Congress to raise their voices to champion human rights in the mining sector of Senegal"

       Boldin proclaims "One of the promises I made in Senegal was to come back and use my voice for those who don't have one... Farmers are living on top of gold mines and large companies come in and just take the land from the locals. No notice. No compensation...That woudn't fly in America, so I don't see why it should in Africa". The former Super Bowl Champ vows to fight for those who have lost their homes due to these large mining companies claiming land. 

       For more on the controversial gold mining in Senegal: Click Here

       To watch Boldin's interview with Andrea Mitchell Click Here

sources: Twitter @AnquanBoldin @mitchellreports

Cracking Down on the First Amendment

In case you didn't know:

The First Amendment (Amendment I) to the United States Constitution prohibits the making of any law respecting an establishment of religion, impeding the free exercise of religion, abridging the freedom of speech, infringing on the freedom of the press, interfering with the right to peaceably assemble or prohibiting the petitioning for a governmental redress of grievances.

(via https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_Amendment_to_the_United_States_Constitution)

       If you happen to pay attention to what's going on in American politics these days you'd know the IRS (Internal Revenue Services) was recently caught discriminating against constitutionally conservative political groups like the Tea Party. Despite the Obama Administration denying foreknowledge of the intentional targeting, the scandal began prior to the 2012 presidential election and could've had a large impact on the Tea Parties chances to gain seats down in Washington. 

       The targeting of certain groups by the federal tax administration is a clear violation of the First Amendment which grants people the right to petition the government without the threat of punishment or reprisal. Tea Party backed Republican Senator Marco Rubio calls the scandal a "direct assault on our Constitution further justifying the American people’s distrust in government and its ability to properly implement our laws". The irony of the scandal is the Tea Party was established as a political party advocating for strict constitutional adherence as well as a US government tax and spending reduction. The federal government and IRS must have seen their political views as a threat to the governments agenda and began targeting Tea Partiers to restrict their ability to gain political momentum. 

       Following the unfolding scandal, the Obama Administration forced IRS Commissioner Steven Miller (and not the good one) to resign in an attempt to save themselves from even more scrutiny for involvement. But the IRS scandal is just the beginning of the recent assault on the First Amendment by the US government.

       Recently in another display of constitutional abuse by the federal government, the US Justice Department seized two months of phone records from journalists working for the Associated Press, without legitimate reasoning. Prosecutors claimed the seizure was part of an investigation regarding AP's knowledge of an alleged al-Qaeda bomb plot in Yemen despite the governments claims the plot did not exist. The CEO of AP, Gary Pruitt, calls the recent seizure of phone records "unconstitutional" and he's considering taking legal action against the Justice Department. "The government has no business monitoring the AP's news gathering activities" - "the people of the United States will only know what the government wants them to know and that's not what the framers of the Constitution had in mind when they wrote the First Amendment", Pruitt said in his first television interview since the seizure of the documents.

       The Freedom of Press granted in the First Amendment restricts the federal government from intervening with media outlets, therefore a confiscation of records is a clear violation of the US constitution and the First Amendment rights.

       The Freedom of Information Act also allows for the full disclosure of previously unreleased government documents and was also violated by the Justice Department when seizing the phone records because the plan to seize the records was said to be conducted due to AP's knowledge of unreleased material.

       This aggressive constitutional violation by the Justice Department has many journalists worried the federal government intends to continue cracking down on the Freedom of Press in an attempt to control the nations media.

        Adam Kokesh, former marine now independent journalist, was arrested yesterday in Philadelphia while attending Smoke Down Prohibition, a monthly protest of civil disobedience where pot smokers gather to toke up in public as an attempt to gain awareness for unjust drug laws. Kokesh did not have marijuana in his possession and didn't even smoke any, but was still targeted by police and violently hauled off to a van before getting shipped to a federal jail. Adam was charged with resisting arrest although he didn't do a thing besides talk into a microphone to get arrested in the first place. Last time I checked, talking into a microphone was protected under the First Amendment with the freedom of speech clause.

       Could it be authorities were targeting Adam Kokesh because he recently organized an Open Carry march on DC where thousands of gun rights advocates plan to march through Washington with their loaded rifles on July 4th? Seems likely, which shows another clear instance of law enforcements blatant disregard for the United States Constitution, the same constitution all officers must take an oath to before beginning their job. 

       Here's video from the Smoke Down Prohibition and Adam Kokesh's arrest:

http://youtu.be/m2eDd4RlhDw

       Stand up America, your rights are under attack.

Sources:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/19/ap-ceo-gary-pruitt-doj_n_3303296.html

http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/ticket/irs-commissioner-says-partisanship-not-involved-agency-behavior-134141319.html

http://www.weeklystandard.com/blogs/report-irs-deliberately-chose-not-fess-scandal-election_724711.html

http://www.prisonplanet.com/radio-host-adam-kokesh-arrested-in-philly.html

Recent @FreeDumb_News Twitter Suspension

I recently created a twitter account for Free Dumb Newspaper, @FreeDumb_News, and by recently I mean no more than 5 days ago. As most people do when they join twitter I decided to follow a few hundred people, most of which were news outlets and independent journalists. After I got a decent timeline established I began spreading news. All was goin well until:

What could I possibly be suspended for? Was it for exposing the government for what it is? Was it for shedding light on chemtrails, government cover-ups and disgusting corporations like Monsanto? 

Oh wait... 

For...following users too aggressively?!...

like not even the word trolling?

What does that even mean!?

I wanted to inquire more information about what I did to get suspended so I decided to click the link in the warning message that said my account would be permanently suspended if I continue to break the "Twitter Rules"...... 

 

But unfortunately the link took me to this @Rules account....

What the hell Twitter!

Kluwe vs The Onion

Earlier today, The Onion decided to post an article about Chris Kluwe, the outspoken punter who was recently released by the Minnesota Vikings. Being an avid internet user, Kluwe decided to troll The Onion by releasing a series of tweets in which he satirically ranted about himself claiming the real Chris Kluwe died of dysentery 25 years ago...

To read the full text of The Onion's article:http://www.theonion.com/articles/chris-kluwe-pens-impassioned-editorial-on-challeng,32342/

The following is the satire written by NFL Punter Chris Kluwe via Twitter

@ChrisWarcraft: Hey @OnionSports, you know I'm perfectly capable of writing biting satire about myself, right? All you have to do is ask :p..... Ok, @OnionSports. Here's how it should have gone. Wall o' text incoming. Also, naughty words. #braceyourselves

@ChrisWarcraft: **WARNING. THE FOLLOWING IS SATIRE. IF YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND THE INTERNET, LEAVE NOW**

-- A day after being cut by the Minnesota Vikings, former punter Chris Kluwe penned an impassioned online screed chastising the entire state of Minnesota for not caring a single whit about his histrionic outbursts on basically anything he felt would make him somewhat relevant in the modern news cycle. "How dare you snot-felching turkeyshits ignore my desperate cries for attention," Kluwe wrote, while smashing together multiple run on sentences about the plight of the not at all endangered American prairie dog. "I swear to raptor Jesus, if my name isn't somewhere in the media or on the front page of Reddit in three fucking seconds, I'm going to light your mother's nipple hairs on fire with her own explosive flatulence." Kluwe then went on another four page rant about the dangers of poorly maintained water heaters, using such ludicrous phrases like "Satan's vomiting crotchsphincter," and "turgid camel cocks," interspersed with punting stats that not one single person gives a solitary fuck about, and frankly, wishes didn't exist. When asked for comment, multiple people who claimed they knew Chris Kluwe said, "Isn't he that whiny dude with the stupid hair?" and, "What the fuck is a punter?" Kluwe's mother reached out to the Onion and told them her son had died of dysentery twenty-five years ago, and whoever claiming to be him now was undoubtedly "some turdgobbling famewhore." 

@ChrisWarcraft: **SATIRE OVER. YOU MAY NOW RETURN TO YOUR DAILY INTERNET**

So when Chris Kluwe lost his job... Did he also lose his mind?

Greetingz Interwebz

Welcome to A Free Dumb Newspaper! After much consideration I've decided to create a blog to document the loads of information I receive on a day to day basis. Twitter, Facebook, YouTube and other forms of social media have become such a crucial element to today's society. Connecting us with people all around the world, these networks create a free flowing stream of ideas that gives us the ability to access data and information from anywhere at anytime. Instantly you can communicate with friends and family from hundreds of miles away, resulting in an unprecedented bond between the various cultures of the world. This growing, global connection between people is vital to human progress and can be a leading factor in the future of world peace. The amount of information available on the internet can give you the ability to learn just about anything known to man. It can ultimately render the current educational system useless, if only more people were eager to learn.
After attempting to explain how amazing it is, I realized it's impossible for me to fathom the overall significance of the internet, but it's clear that its benefits have only just begun. I intend to take full advantage of this wonderful technology by using this site to gather information from around the world and feed it directly to YOU! We're still in the beta stage but in the next couple weeks I intend to launch this site into full orbit. Stay tuned my friends!